In Praise of Love Spells pt 1

Intro
I'm sure this is a controversial subject for some, so I welcome constructive comments and discussion.

With Valentine's day behind us, and looking towards Beltane, Twitter, Facebook and the web are filled with Witches, Wiccans and Pagans decrying the use of Love Spells. "Witches, Wiccans, Pagans (fill in the blank) don't DO Love Spells! That is wrong!" Many assumptions are made in some of the circles I am reading. The most popular assumption was that all love spells impact the free will of others. Not always so. Many people like to toss words like 'right' and 'wrong' around, but remember, morals and ethics are very personal things.

A larger problem I see is with communities in general stating the absolutes for everyone. In many branches of Paganism, there aren't absolutes. That's what makes it so hard to speak for everyone. I'm going to attempt to explain my POV and if you disagree, that's okay. Let's talk about it!

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Part One

I cast my first romantic love spell at 17. By this time I had been reading and researching Wicca and Paganism for six years and practicing spell work for four or so years.

I was finally 'over' my first real relationship and ready to move on to a new relationship. Not just any one, but the right one for me, for that period of my life. Since I was working for a very small company and had no chance of finding a romantic partner there, I thought I'd cast a spell to help me find the one for me.

It just so happened a popular author was going to be appearing at a local shop and I really wanted to attend. I made arrangements to go with a dear friend and I was set. In my defense, I had been thinking about how to jump start my nonexistent love life but I didn't go there with the intent to do a love spell.

This popular author (name omitted lest someone think I'm promoting her work) had a magic workshop which I was able to attend. She called the 'style' of magic we were to do for the day, 'Silver Bullet Magic'. We laughingly called it Butt magic.

Premise: Grab a piece of paper and a balloon. Make list of things you want. Intentions if you will. Grab a balloon, place your list inside and blow it up while concentrating on your list. Tie off with list inside. We chanted to build energy as a group and to release the built up energy we all sat on our balloons to pop them.

It felt quite silly sitting on that balloon, and just a bit even explaining it, but I had full faith that I would make it work. My criteria for this new relationship included, someone who would be faithful, someone with whom I could share ME, paganism and all. We were told to save our balloon and our list to remind us of our working. To pass the piece to someone once our wish came true. (I gave mine to my mother, who was happy to have it.)

What this spell did not include was someone's name. Spells that attempt to change the free will of another person are much harder to do, and much more likely to fail. Also, I know better than to assume that I know what I need better than the Gods. Hubris is a BIG no no. You start assuming things like that and you wind up with snakes for hair. Just because you decide you fancy Bob or Susy doesn't mean they are going to be the right one for you.

The relationship that came about was perfect. Everything I wanted. A loving and supportive partner who helped introduce me to the strong woman I am today. Though we are no longer together, he is still one of my oldest and best friends.

Is it possible that this relationship could have come about without my spell? Sure, anything is possible. I choose to believe that my spell, in addition to stating to the Gods my intent, showed me that I had the confidence to take my own (love) life into my own hands.